Subpoenas Envy
This is an open letter to the four reporters at The New York Times who have been subpoenaed by the Justice Department to give up their secret sources on a story disclosing that Donald Trump’s new Air Force One, a personal gift bribe from the government of Qatar, has proven to be so deficient in defensive capabilities that the president could not ride it back home through a war zone. To those four reporters:
Damn you.
I have been working my whole life for just such a subpoena. I’m older than you. I’m a national treasure. I’ve earned this.
So I come to you with a proposal. Hear me out.
Don’t fight the subpoena. All four of you should agree to testify before the grand jury. And all four of you should testify to the same thing. Say that I was your secret source, and you believed me because I have a reputation for getting things right. The feds will subpoena me, and I will not contradict you. I will gravely testify that I was indeed your source! And then they will demand my source, and I will refuse to reveal it. And go to jail, where I will be blissfully happy writing my memoirs, as a martyr to the First Amendment and the first working journalist to give Donald Trump the finger from behind bars.
Deal?
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That’s sort of all I have today, other than a brief comment about Lindsey Graham. I am beginning the countdown to the moment that Tucker Carlson or some MAGA lunatic starts wondering whether Lindsey was poisoned by Putin during his recent visit to Kiev. Ten, nine, eight, seven … .
Also, have you seen this?
Today’s extraneous Gene Pool Gene Polls:
Okay, we’re done.
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